Dear Seth Rogen

It is my fault, not yours. I take full responsibility. I thought that after the magic you pulled with Robin Williams, and then my celebrity sighting, you were capable of anything. But even you, Seth Rogen, are human. Apparently, your powers cease in La Crescenta.

My therapist has always told me that I have a tendency to either put people high on a pedestal, or deep in the mud. You see, I have been living my life in black and white. Let me reiterate, I am not racist. Today, Seth Rogen, I turn a new leaf. Today, I choose not to demonize you for failing to procure a mildly intelligent crowd at Monday night’s show. Today, I’m going to take it even one step further. I’m not going to demonize myself for expecting you to.

I want our relationship to grow and flourish, Seth Rogen. If I were to criminalize both of us for a less than perfect night, I would be cutting off my own nose to spite my face. And don’t you think the Jews have suffered enough?

Now, I don’t want to make it sound worse than it was. It wasn’t another Auschwitz or anything. All the comedians were hurting, even the gentiles. And I did leave with some laughs. I think what hurt the most, Seth Rogen, is that when I looked into the audience of three inebriated individuals, I expected to see your cherubic face cheering me on. But I get it. La Crescenta is just too far away. At least I’ll see you this Thursday at the Spotlight Comedy Club. Big show, Seth Rogen. I know you won’t let me down this time. Show starts at 7:30pm.

I’m hurting. Until then…

Debbie

Today, I got recognized!  I, Debbie Singer, was someone’s celebrity sighting!  It was an amazing experience.  Not that I need to tell you what it is like, Seth Rogen.  You must get spotted all the time.

Here’s how it happened:  I was simply minding my own business, updating my facebook status while standing in line at Sprinkles, when a woman approached me and asked my name.  I said, “Debbie Singer.”  “You’re a singer?” the woman retorted.  She thought that was how she knew me, L.O.L.  I kindly explained that Singer is my last name, an abbreviated version of the Jewishier Zingerman, which my forefathers abandoned at Ellis Island. Then I told her I was a standup comic.  “That must be it!” she exclaimed.  I proceeded to crack a few jokes just to prove it. 

I can’t help but imagine that my first brush with fame had your signature all over it. I know you weren’t there for the big show on Sunday night, and I know we haven’t “met” yet, but you did send Robin Williams to the Hollywood Improv and your ongoing support has been a blessing.

Eventually, the woman in the Sprinkles line realized she knew me from a mutual friend’s Christmas party, about two years back.  Still, the effect was the same.  I have tasted fame, Seth Rogen, and I like it.  Now we have more in common than ever before.  I’ve never felt more connected to you.

I guess I’ll be seeing you on Monday night at Leo’s All-Star Sports Bar.  Unless, of course, you’re sending Arsenio Hall in your place.

Until then…

Debbie

I was at The Hollywood Improv on Sunday night, thinking, “Where oh where is Seth Rogen?” Being a very big show, I knew that you would want to be there for support. Naturally, my mind started racing… Is he injured? Sick? Mugged? Did he convert to Catholicism and decide to keep holy the Sabbath?

Then, I saw Robin Williams arrive and I quickly realized that you must have sent him in your place to see me. I actually had no idea that the two of you were such good friends. And of course, I now realize that you didn’t join Robin on Sunday night because you knew that two mega superstars at the Improv would have created an uproar that could have debilitated the show. You are always looking out for others, Seth Rogen.

As if we didn’t have enough in common, Sunday’s show gave us another similarity. You see, Robin Williams showed up unannounced and he went up just before me. Do you remember (in the hit film, “Funny People”) when Adam Sandler showed up unannounced and performed just before you? He then helped your career by paying you to write his jokes. Well, this was just like “Funny People,” except without the joke writing, the career making, or the terminal illness plot that conveniently solved itself.

The whole experience was exhilarating, Seth Rogen! Did you know that I would do so well, despite performing after a comedy icon? Obviously you knew I would or you wouldn’t have sent him, L.O.L. Do you think it is more difficult for a comedian to follow Robin Williams or a musician to follow Billy Joel?

Speaking of Billy Joel, any word on whether he’s going to make it out for Thanksgiving?

Until then…

Debbie