Dear Seth Rogen

Today, I got recognized!  I, Debbie Singer, was someone’s celebrity sighting!  It was an amazing experience.  Not that I need to tell you what it is like, Seth Rogen.  You must get spotted all the time.

Here’s how it happened:  I was simply minding my own business, updating my facebook status while standing in line at Sprinkles, when a woman approached me and asked my name.  I said, “Debbie Singer.”  “You’re a singer?” the woman retorted.  She thought that was how she knew me, L.O.L.  I kindly explained that Singer is my last name, an abbreviated version of the Jewishier Zingerman, which my forefathers abandoned at Ellis Island. Then I told her I was a standup comic.  “That must be it!” she exclaimed.  I proceeded to crack a few jokes just to prove it. 

I can’t help but imagine that my first brush with fame had your signature all over it. I know you weren’t there for the big show on Sunday night, and I know we haven’t “met” yet, but you did send Robin Williams to the Hollywood Improv and your ongoing support has been a blessing.

Eventually, the woman in the Sprinkles line realized she knew me from a mutual friend’s Christmas party, about two years back.  Still, the effect was the same.  I have tasted fame, Seth Rogen, and I like it.  Now we have more in common than ever before.  I’ve never felt more connected to you.

I guess I’ll be seeing you on Monday night at Leo’s All-Star Sports Bar.  Unless, of course, you’re sending Arsenio Hall in your place.

Until then…

Debbie

I was at The Hollywood Improv on Sunday night, thinking, “Where oh where is Seth Rogen?” Being a very big show, I knew that you would want to be there for support. Naturally, my mind started racing… Is he injured? Sick? Mugged? Did he convert to Catholicism and decide to keep holy the Sabbath?

Then, I saw Robin Williams arrive and I quickly realized that you must have sent him in your place to see me. I actually had no idea that the two of you were such good friends. And of course, I now realize that you didn’t join Robin on Sunday night because you knew that two mega superstars at the Improv would have created an uproar that could have debilitated the show. You are always looking out for others, Seth Rogen.

As if we didn’t have enough in common, Sunday’s show gave us another similarity. You see, Robin Williams showed up unannounced and he went up just before me. Do you remember (in the hit film, “Funny People”) when Adam Sandler showed up unannounced and performed just before you? He then helped your career by paying you to write his jokes. Well, this was just like “Funny People,” except without the joke writing, the career making, or the terminal illness plot that conveniently solved itself.

The whole experience was exhilarating, Seth Rogen! Did you know that I would do so well, despite performing after a comedy icon? Obviously you knew I would or you wouldn’t have sent him, L.O.L. Do you think it is more difficult for a comedian to follow Robin Williams or a musician to follow Billy Joel?

Speaking of Billy Joel, any word on whether he’s going to make it out for Thanksgiving?

Until then…

Debbie

This is the big one. I’m performing at the Hollywood Improv!  I know you’ll be there.  Everyone will be there.  The truth is, I’m nervous, Seth Rogen.  The Hollywood Improv is a very big venue and, well, I have a callous on my foot.

A foot callous might not sound like a big deal, but I’ve been watching “Top Chef: Las Vegas.”  Just last week, Chef Michael Isabella was eliminated because his leeks didn’t cook properly for Natalie Portman.

Michael blamed his undercooked leeks on his uneven boiling pot.  The misshapen pot meant that the water didn’t boil fast enough.  According to Michael, “Whatever, whatever.”  Not “whatever, whatever.”  Think of my foot as the pot.  The callous is making my foot uneven.  What if the unevenness of my calloused foot throws off my entire performance, Seth Rogen?

Plus, and this may sound crazy, but I think my ear pimple may have returned, throwing of my equilibrium.  I might wobble or trip at the world renowned Hollywood Improv.  My leeks may not cook properly, and I might get sent home.

These obstacles are overwhelming. During these trying times, I am so grateful knowing that you are there, Seth Rogen.  Your support at the Improv at 9:30 pm means everything.  I’ll balance extra carefully for you. 

Until then…

Debbie

I sleep with my eyes open. I am told that I don’t even blink in my sleep. As you might imagine, this has an incredibly drying effect on my baby blues (or greens depending on what I’m wearing). Years ago, I started using eye drops on a daily basis. Soon, regular drops were not enough, and I switched to an extra thick eye drop with a “Dr. Recommended” label.

Lately the problem has gotten worse. No eye drop can cure my dry eyes. I have been forced to upgrade to an eye ointment. I didn’t even know they made eye ointment. My mom sent it to me in a care package. It’s basically a Vaseline like substance you put under your eyelids.

The good news is, it’s working. I no longer trudge through the day with dry, itchy eyes. The bad new is, it makes my vision a little blurry, as there is always a Vaseline like substance coating my peepers.

The point is, Seth Rogen, that must be why I didn’t see you at Kilkenny’s in Redondo Beach last night. In all fairness, I couldn’t see much of anything. Luckily, I have a huge show coming up this Sunday night at the Hollywood Improv. This time eye’ll make sure to rinse out my eyes first. L.O.L. Show starts at 9:30pm. Looking forward to seeing you.

Until then…

Debbie