Dear Seth Rogen

This is a big week for me.  First of all, my one-woman show, “The Three Year Plan: How To Marry a Man in 1,095 Days” goes up at the UCB theatre in Los Feliz on Wednesday at 6:30pm…

Second of all, I have a callback for a major motion picture comedy.  Only a short while as a mini celebrity, and already I am being typecast.  I’m up for the part of a character named, “Funny Jewish Friend.”  Typical.  I’m expecting to see Sarah Silverman at the audition.  After all, it’s not like there are that many funny Jews in Hollywood.

I met with my manager the other night to prep for the big audition.  She took one look at the character description and was devastated.  “I should have never advised you to get that nose job,” she lamented.  “Your old nose would have been perfect!”  It’s true, Seth Rogen… A couple years back I followed my manager’s recommendation and had the Jew cut out.   Does this mean I’m not Jewish enough to play “Funny Jewish Friend?”  At least I still have my labia menorah.  L.O.L.

I just don’t know how I feel about being typecast.  On the one hand, I’m glad they think of me as being funny… and Jewish.  But on the other hand, I’m so much more.  I tell you, stardom is tough – only I don’t have to tell you.

Seth Rogen, how do you deal with being typecast?  Like me, you continuously play the role of “Funny Jew.”  However, we both know you have the chops to play a gentile.  Or someone of a different race, perhaps.  Like a Mexican, or a Dwarf.   I also noticed that you get typecast as a stoner.   However, in our correspondence, I always get the sense you are of the sharpest mind.  Are you a method actor?  Do you delve into a life of excessive marijuana intake in order prepare for a part?  Should I go to Temple before my big call back?  What do you think Sarah Silverman will do?  I do love her jokes.

We can discuss this over a bottle of Manischewitz.  I love that it tastes just like juice.  Can’t wait to see you at the show on Wednesday.

Until then…